Monday, September 3, 2012

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Clothaholics Anonymous

Hello there! You look a little lost... Oh, you’re looking for the Mother’s Meeting? I’m so sorry, but they meet here in the Library on Tuesdays. Tonight it is “Clothaholics Anonymous”.

What’s that – you’ve never heard of Clothaholics Anonymous? Well, we do tend to be a little shy about our, er, problem; but certainly you’ve met clothaholics before. They look just like your average citizen.

Take Molly over there, for instance. Positively glowing, isn’t she! She’s only got a few weeks left before her first little one is due. She jumped on the cloth diapering bandwagon early, just a few days after her first positive pregnancy test. Things really went crazy, though, when she hit the nesting phase. Let’s just say she is now Prepared, with a capital P – who can blame her, though. Those itty bitty dipes are to die for. Her husband realised she had a problem when he came home from work one evening and discovered her in the nursery, practising snappying prefolds on a Cabbage Patch Kid.

Then there’s Gloria, in the corner with the knitting project. Gloria started with good old PUL covers, but for her they were a gateway diaper, leading her to the world of wool. She planned to try a pair of wool shorties on her daughter “just one time”, but who can stop once they begin, right? She then tried out longies, night-time soakers and now she is busy learning to knit so that she can make her own wool covers. Don’t get too close; you could lose an eye when her knitting needles really get going. 
 
Next to her is Barry… of course men can be clothaholics too! He says it all started for him when he heard his wife say something about bumGenius’ Artist Series – it reminded him somehow of his baseball card collecting days. Now he is always muttering to himself something about “getting the whole set”. Rumor has it he stocked up big time on Bubble and Sweet, hoping than in a few years he can sell them at a profit, and that he bought his baby boy a Freetime in Lovelace, just so he could complete his collection of prints.  

 
This is Brenda… now, Brenda, pull yourself together. Brenda’s little one is Potty Training, so it is no wonder she is a little teary… What do you mean it is good news?! It’s terrible! What on earth will she have to do with her free time? Gloria offered to teach her to knit as a new hobby, but that only reminded poor Brenda of all the options she never tried. Thankfully, she can wean herself off the hard stuff by trying out some cloth trainers… no need to go cold turkey, Brenda.

Anyhow, I expect you had better be going…oh, really? Of course you can stay! Recognizing you have a problem is the first step you know.

I’m sure you’ll fit in around here just fine.
 
Bio: Belinda Lamprecht currently lives in Africa with her husband, working for an international missions agency and raising her two kiddos, one who joined the family through adoption and one…ahem…the old-fashioned way. You can read more about their experiences at www.reaboka.wordpress.com 

1 comment:

Photography Rocks Camera Club @ RRCC said...

Awesome article. I really liked the format you wrote it in. Describes us all to a T.