Wednesday, September 1, 2010

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The Decision to Have a Third

Did my love of cloth diapering influence my decision to have a third baby? Hmmmm, is this something I want to admit? Was my first thought upon imagining a son after two girls that I would be able to buy so many boy-themed diapers? Maybe. Do I love cloth diapering so much that my option was to either delay potty training my daughter for 5 or so years or have another baby? Okay that’s going a bit far. My daughter is only 18 months old, so for better or worse she still has quite a bit of diapering time left in her, but the idea of retiring or giving away her stash is right up there with packing away her cutest clothes or most beloved toys. My love of mothering, cloth diapering included, made me realize that I might have had another go ‘round in me. I adore being a mother. I love nurturing my children, whether that means making sure they have the best on their bottoms or they’re exposed to the arts or they have a neck to burrow into when they’re sad or scared.

Actually it was when I first started cloth diapering her, around four or five months old that I started thinking about another baby. Of course the timing is probably coincidental, but it does make you wonder. We had emphatically declared that we were done at two children. Two was practical, manageable and even, dare I say, easy. I had two girls, which thrilled me to no end. Two sisters, awash in pink, that brought us so much love and happiness, who could dare to ask for more? But at about this five month mark I realized, I dared to ask for more. More of this love, this joy, this laughter, this chaos, this fluff. Oops, did I say that? Thinking that my husband would declare me nuts and start reminding me in gory detail about how much I loathe pregnancy (as I had instructed him to do if this ever happened) I sheepishly mentioned the idea. He shocked me by saying he had been thinking it too and hence began the destruction of our logical, perfect, well-thought-out plan of two children. Maybe the diapers had no direct influence, but I think they could have been a bit of red flag for me, a little heads-up that this mom thing hadn’t quite run its course with just these two runners on the track.

Of course I say this all with a bit of tongue in cheek, but with every joke there is a little truth, right? In the end I would say the diapers did play a role in my decision to have a third baby. Not in the sense that I couldn’t part with cloth diapering so I decided to have another child, but more in the sense that I realized just how much I love taking care of my children and how much I love being a mother. Every decision I make, every item I purchase, every activity I plan is all done in the best interests of my children. I take this role very seriously and I enjoy every living moment of it. The decision to have another child is a complex and personal one, made for so many different reasons. Quite simply for me, I love being a mother, I love watching my children grow and evolve and I love the life that my family has created around me. And yes, I love the fluff.

In essence, this is my coming-out to The Cloth Diaper Whisperer community that the newbie, who is no longer a newbie, is expecting. After much contemplation and decision-making we are thrilled that we will be a family of five. And as an update, at 14 weeks and still feeling awful with morning sickness, I still loathe pregnancy!

By Jennifer G.

34 comments:

Lisanne said...

Congratulations! We have 2 little girls and are discussing a third. I hope I can talk my husband into it.

Shay said...

:) awww congrats!

JustCorey said...

Congratulations.... so are you hoping for a boy or was that just a random comment at the beginning about boy fluff? lol

Tiffany Lamb said...

Congratulations! This post made me very happy because it is wonderful to hear of someone else who loves their kids and chooses to have more for all the right reasons (and I believe cloth diapers is an acceptable reason as well)

www.organicparenthood.com

Julie said...

I thoroughly enjoyed this post and feel the same exact way. I couldn't have put it into words as eloquently as you did! Congrats on your third! I'm pregnant with our 3rd at about 10 weeks and so sick...so I hope that passes soon for both of us! I'm so excited to learn if it's a boy or a girl and get more fluff! :)

Heather said...

Congratulations!!!! I hope the morning sickness passes soon.

Shay said...

:) Congrats!

Alycia said...

I completely understand! I am so happy I started using cloth with my first, instead of with my last- we hope to have at least 2 more kids so I'll get to cloth diaper them all right from the start.

But, at 12 months, I'm already dreading PL'ing. How bad is that? ha

zookeeperjess said...

congratulations!!! Yay! I want another to use cloth as well hehe. Well, that's 1 reason ;).

Mulberry Mama said...

Congratulations! Three is wonderful....stressful sometimes, crazy sometimes, wild and noisy sometimes, but wonderful. Good luck with your pregnancy and birth, and hope you feel MUCH better soon!

Selena said...

Congratulations! I have four children and it's wonderful and fun. The more the merrier :)

Crystal said...

Congratulations Jennifer!!! We just had our second 3 1/2 weeks ago and I'm already thinking about the third. :) Children are such a blessing! I have to admit that one of my first considerations when we found out we were expecting #2 was "Now I get to purchase double the fluff!" :) Who would have thought that the diapering part of child-raising could be so much fun?!

MieVee @ MummysReviews.com said...

Congratulations to you!
Yes, I loathe morning sickness too, especially when it isn't confined to just mornings.
Take care! :)

Big Mama said...

i'm at 18 weeks and still feel awful!

Court said...

Congrats on the pregnancy, Jennifer! We're expecting our first (a boy) in December. I have to say, while I would love to buy some of the ruffly pink diapers, it's nice to be able to buy colors that will work on our next child, whether it's a boy or girl! :)

I was sick, sick, sick through 18-19 weeks with this pregnancy. So much so, that I told my husband that one child was enough. Of course, now that I've passed that stage and am eating again, I think, "I could do that again!"

TBTorra said...

Woo! Congrats! Good luck with your pregnancy!

dannyscotland said...

Congratulations! I will admit that I dread potty training and giving up my cloth diapers, too. But I just have one child and we plan to have 2 as well. So I'm not done for yet! :-)

StephanieU said...

Congratulations!
We haven't decided on a third yet, but I am with you in loving being a mom (most of the time - not when they are both screaming though). I don't mind pregnancy, but I do hate the morning sickness. Praying yours ends soon!

beccajoy said...

Congrats! Awesome news, babies are such blessings!

Christine said...

I know exactly what you mean. I didn't cloth diaper my first, and wish so badly that I had. I will only get to cloth diaper one baby unless I have a third, and I really don't see that happening!!!

Amber Liddle said...

My husband and I swore up and down we were going the One and Done route, until we started using cloth diapers and slings. Then I started thinking of having another one to make the investment that much more worth it. Now we're halfway to #2 and I wonder if it will hit me again for a third?? We have a girl and #2 is a boy, so probably not. Congrats and here's to Zofran, the only thing that's gotten me through all the sickness this time around!

time4latte said...

Congrats!! (Great post, too!)

Melina said...

Three is a perfect number, and if anyone is going to understand your fluffy reasons for wanting another one, its us! (Even if its just a teeny-weeny part of the reason why.. <3) Congratulations!!! :)

The Ross Family said...

aww congrats! I just had baby boy #3 only 4 months ago and at one point I said no more kids... Well honestly I can't say that now... I love being pregnant (yes even with the sickness and body pain) but I love being a mother just like you... and well now as a newbie of cloth diapering I want to pass them down as well!!!!

Diana said...

Congratulations!!! Hope the nausea passes soon! I think it's nice that fluff has helped you tune into your love of motherhood. I know it did for me too.
We just added #5 to our family last week. I can't wait to get back on my feet and doing laundry again so I can use the new fluff I bought while nesting. :)

Lauren said...

Congrats Jennifer! Hopefully we'll be able to see you and Nat in music classes. This is very exciting for you all. How fun and I hope the morning sickness goes away soon.

Mama Stacy said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!! And... well, I can relate... I have two in cloth diapers right now- our 24-month-old and our 17-month-old (whom we'll be adopting in the next couple of months!)- and yet I'm already thinking about when we'll take yet ANOTHER foster baby (making our family... SEVEN???!!!) My husband says, "Not until the other 2 are out of diapers- or at least one of them is out of diapers." Fine by me! That means I'll prolong my cloth-diapering for a couple more years at least! Oh, the joy! Of a new baby, of course... not of the diapers. Okay, maybe both. :D

Della said...

I so want to have another. It's just something inside me and the pretty fluff is such a great reason. I want to seriously consider it for a few years from now. Love your article. So sweet that you're expecting. Congrats!

Emily said...

We are expecting a second and I am so very excited to start cloth diapering from day one!!

Kelly said...

Congrats Jennifer! I had girl #1 after 2 boys. I was so excited to finally buy some "pretty" fluff after having mainly blues & greens. And to think of cd'ing all three and probably not spending more than $1000 total (yes I have plenty of fluff) I can't even imagine what I have saved by reusing vs. disposing.

Hope you get your boy and hope you get to feeling better soon.

Sabrina said...

Congrasts! Feel better soon. i agree being pregnant is no fun but the end results are great.

Mel Hagberg said...

We have a two month old and a two year old and my husband said my lastest purchases of dipes have sealed the deal on the third one. She's two months old!!! But Congrats. I'm sure we will have our third on sometime in the near future too.

Laura said...

Congratulations! We have one precious girl 9 months and are hoping to have another baby. I was blessed with a fabulous pregnancy experience & hope the next one will be the same.

Lynn said...

lol, my daughters only 6m, and i tell people all the time ONE AND DONE. but all the fluff really makes me think. lol. right now is deffinitely not the right time, and neither is 3 or 4 years in the future. maybe when the IUD needs to be replaced [4 1/2 years from now] i can re-think it with my love and maybe i can enjoy the baby years and all the love and joys all over, again. but i also dont wanna take anything from my daughter. idk, who does? til that time, im not getting rid of my fluff. lol!