Sunday, June 21, 2009

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The Diaper Cycle

Marriage- what a wonderful gift. And I am truly blessed to be married to a most excellent man. When we said our vows three years ago we promised to love each other forever, to have and to hold for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do we part as long as we both shall live. Amen. Our vows should have been more to this effect:

I promise to love you for all your unconventional ideas- through two surprise and unexpectedly close together home births, through cloth diapers and the strange looks they bring from most of our friends and families, to have and to hold two babies who share our already too small bed as we adopt attachment-style parenting, through anticipated homeschooling and extended on demand nursing, as long as we both shall live. And I should have specified an addendum... and you, dear husband, will have the privilege of changing as many of those diapers as you like (even though cloth was my idea). And we will scrape the big girl poop off with our "special spatula" into our guest toilet- hoping and praying that no one will ever think that that particular utensil was mistakenly carried into the restroom by our oldest daughter, and should now be brought into the kitchen to be washed and used to flip eggs or to scoop out casserole...


I have the honor of being able to stay at home with my daughters and therefore get to change their cloth diapers all day long. My husband is a hard working tree man (a certified arborist, to be precise) and he is the epitome of the hard-working outdoor manual laborer. His hands are extremely rough and calloused, his biceps bulge out of his shirts, and he has a massive goatee- all quintessential characteristics people think of when conjuring images of a lumberjack. He is tough and in control at work- gruffly barking orders to his crew.

But then he steps foot into our home each evening around dinnertime and every aspect of both our daytime lives change. I go from being the in-charge, organized work-at-home mom who can juggle emails, nursing, nap times, dinner preparation, and temper tantrums simultaneously, to finally free to be vulnerable and weak. That is where my dear husband, the head of our small household, steps in. He walks quietly into the house, sneaks up the stairs, and immediately wraps me up with hugs and kisses. Then his calloused, loving hands pick up both of our girls (23 months and 7 months, however they were 19 months and 3 months old in the photos) and he holds them closely to his chest while whispering loving words into their ears, apologizing for being gone for so long and promising to be home sooner tomorrow. He wanders around aimlessly, cooing to them both and making sure that their individual love tanks are flowing over. Then he asks me if their diapers need to be changed, and the answer is always the same. "I'm not sure, but I'll check them in a minute." His reply echoes mine, "No need. You just rest. You've been busy all day. I'll change them." And he does. Every evening after he walks through the door, the diaper changes are transferred from my realm of duties to his. I get dinner finished up, pick up all the girls' toys, and we have the remainder of the night to chat about the day's work- the little successes, the new things the girls did, and how his business is faring. Diapers never again cross my mind until the next morning, when the responsibility is once again mine.


- by Mary K.

33 comments:

the monkey's mama said...

what a sweet sweet post and incredible way to honor fathers! thanks for sharing!

Upstatemomof3 said...

what an absolutely beautiful post about your husband. Happy Father's Day to him and all the others.

TheClothDiaperWhisperer said...

When Mary sent this post to us a few weeks ago I just knew this was a perfect Father's Day post. I truly enjoyed reading it.
Happy Father's Day to all great Dad's out there!

Slee said...

This was so heartwarming to read, but i still can't get past the spatula. I A. hadn't thought ahead to big girl (boy in my case) poo, and B. never considered a multitasking spatula. Someone needs to market one that looks like it belongs in the bathroom to avoid that kind of potential confusion!

Brena said...

What a neat daddy tribute! My husband sounds completely different, and yet the same!

Kelly said...

Oh my goodness! That is just the sweetest post ever! Both Mary and her husband are very lucky individuals to have such great partners! I count myself among the blessed as well! Beautiful post!

GwennS said...

What a fabulous post--what a terrific husband and father! Happy Father's Day to your hubby and all the other daddies too :)

AScott said...

That was so sweet!!! What a great love story.

Thrifty Mama B said...

What a great Fathers Day post. Happy Fathers Day to all the Daddies out there (and the single mamas).

hosiewosie said...

great post, love the tree man!

Liz said...

A very sweet post, it brought tears to my eyes :)

Heather M said...

What a Way to Honor Father's!! Thanks for caring!

A Psych Mommy said...

What a wonderful Father's Day post! Happy Dad's day!

Beth E. said...

Such a sweet and honest post. I actually had some tears well up in my eyes. Thank you for blessing us with a beautiful picture of your family.

Tiffany said...

What a great post! Thank you so much for sharing your story with us.

Katie Burns krburns13 at hotmail.com said...

That is such a great post and wonderful dad! He truly sounds awesome. I think most of us have great stories like that if we think about it but it is so nice to hear someone else's. Thanks for sharing!

MaryAnne said...

Aw, he sounds like such a sweet guy! My hubby is great about changing diapers and playing with the kids when he gets home from a long day at work, too.

Jenney said...

That is one of the nicest post I have ever read. Thank you for sharing.

EFalls said...

This is a wonderful post. You can really tell how much she loves him and how much he loves his family. And she's a great writer!

Suzy said...

I love your story, what a truely blessed marriage you have.

KuryKidsMommy said...

Thanks for the nice comments!! Todd is the most wonderful husband I could have ever asked for. Happy Father's Day to all you sweet daddies out there!

Anna said...

What a blessing to have such an amazing husband!

Dani V. said...

Wish my hubby would want to change diapers after he got home from work. My hubby is nice to me overall too but doesn't like changing diapers. :)
Sounds like you have a nice hubby.

Keeping up with the Connors' said...

amazing. daddy's are the best!

Amanda said...

What a sweet post!!! :)

Senior Family said...

what a great dad !! my dh is the same he will willingly change diapers and even cleans off poopy ones :)

Day to Day Tripper said...

Very Sweet!

Kimberly said...

I love your unconventional vows!!! Very cute!

Jennifer said...

What a great guy! My husband has also graciously stuck with me through some crazy ideas (and not so crazy ones, like cloth diapers), and we've grown to respect each other more by working through the process. Thanks for sharing!

hammergirl5 said...

It is so awesome to see a Daddy so involved with his kids!! =)

Christina C. said...

What an amazing man you have! *Maybe* someday I will be lucky enough for my hubby to compare a tiny bit!

Attila & Tamara said...

Lovely post! I could hear so much of myself in her. My husband has been so great as I journey through discovering how to best make my home a home in order to honor God!

CindyD said...

So sweet! What an awesome Daddy and husband! My husband does those lovey dovey nice things when he has good days.. but lately the long Navy hours have been taking their toll.